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1. First of all, Herr Heribert Bauer, father of the "Federknopf-Verschluss”, I summon thee! For thou art the inventor of the snaps that are the things of nightmares. I understand that you patented them for men’s trousers and yes, you did not have a say when someone decided to stick 459 of them on a footed sleeper for a baby, and yes, you have plausible deniability because you were possibly already dead, but really. I need you to know that you are in my nightmares, with snaps that never line up, and a child that screams bloody murder, and though I googled for an hour I have not been able to find who was the first to put snaps on footed sleepers, so I’m going to place the blame on you.
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1. Write it down, Masha. Time has become fluid and hop-scotch; your memory is a rewriteable CD, and if you don’t write down the funny, the amazing, the unforseen things they will be shelved into the attic, to be accidentally retrieved; or never. 2. Like new words that emerge daily, since a new human deserves a new language: Tolly is абрикосмос, Tolly is потягусеница, Tolly is plagued by the twin brothers Многопукакак and Многокакапук. 3. Because, Masha, your brain is a sieve made of scrambled eggs and dandelion seeds, and it can seamlessly erase events, details, the thought you had just a minute ago. And Leo’s brain is the same. It’s a gift to make you forget how many diaper blowouts happened in the past twelve hours. |
Hey! I'm Masha
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